I watched how she became a shadow of herself. Did she ever discover herself? She has been suppressed from childhood by the family and society, she got married and ended up being even more suppressed by her husband and the society.
She is your regular working class woman with a 8-4 job with a good pay and an okay lifestyle. She was influenced greatly by society and religion at a tender age, sometimes good, most times bad. She is doing ok by the societal standards; a good job, a home and a marriage with children. She is not happy deep down, but because of love and the society, she suppresses her emotions and put up a facade of contentment, afterall what can a woman wish for that she doesn’t have?
She is stressed trying to cope with an irresponsible husband (who is aware she values society more than her mental and emotional health), who doesn’t hestiates to use her weaknesses (Religion and Society) against her. She shoulders it all, never cracking the facade of contentment and consoles herself with statements like “some women have it worse” or “life is so complicated”. She excels in the act of self righteousness and the act of complaining with a heart of biterness towards but still never cracking the facade.
Responsibilty on the part of the man is an illusion which seems to always evade her even she tries to be dutiful wife. Her acts of self bravery hiding the heart of cowardice and fear of society is seen/known to her children but still she never complains at least to the society. Always quick to admonish against the pitfalls of marriage, an upholder of marriage virtues, yet a basket case of all the wrongs that could go wrong in marriage. She never really enjoys her marriage, always enduring for the greater good of the marriage but the worst for herself.
All these efforts, yet lack of appreciation from her husband. He belittles her verbally and cheats on her physically and emotionally with no regard for the matrimonial bed. They quarrel over trivial stuff, always the children the judge of who is more at fault in the quarrels, she involves everybody and anyone who cares to listen about the woes and faults of her husband yet she cant leave because of what the society would say.
She is of the idealogy that marriage makes you a woman but a marriage that hasn’t functioned as a marriage other than bearing children is not a marriage. She passes her bitter knowledge to her children, her husband does the same, making the children confused but the children know better because they are smart.
Could love be this complicated? Does the society really matter when marriage issues come up? Is there really a wrong or right way to go about in marriage? Is donning a facade really necessary?
She is in love and hate with him but most of the time, her heart is bitter towards him and towards life, so she lashes out on her children. Her children pay regularly for the sins of their father through words, actions or kind.
A Mirage in what looks like a mans world.