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You’re not alone

Guys, if you see this, read slowly. I’ve suffered so much this year that it hurts badly. As expected, it shall pass. How I appear so tranquil in all of these makes it so unreal. I mean, I’m supposed to be sad, disturbed or something.

Is the end here? Is it really it?
But as with me, I cleanse myself and rise every time. I’d be fine. I’m good. Still standing. Trying to get a grip at something.

What do you want Ajayi Samuel Adeyemi? This is a question I ask myself every day! Everyday.

I want a quiet life somewhere.
I want to be able to love warmly.
I want to be at peace with myself, love ones, and society so badly, but reality society is pissed.

There’s a life I designed for myself. If I am not living it, leaving might be an option.

It’s a ‘live or leave’ for me.
Life isn’t good.
Life is supposed to be fair!
I want a life where I see people with peace, not with struggle.

Seeing people suffer affects me in all ramifications. I feel concerned. Obliged to do something. Sometimes I do, other times, I wish I did. Else, we seep into the same pit…but what if I do? I know deep down within me that I would rise again! Again and again…

I want a world ;

Where love carries its weight.
Where peace is a thing.
Where happiness matters.
Where fairness and justice are upheld.

Is that too much?
The end of everything remains unchanged. Unchanged? Yes. It is death. Death. What if you died today? What do you want to be remembered for? What do you wish you had done? I’d spent a greater part of this year seeing us, human as what we are.

What are we?
Just the top of the food chain or something.

Can we humans …have virtue like water?
Water gives without demanding a return.

There’s the reality we need to accept as human. People would not always like us…and that’s fine. Sometimes, we thought we got everything right. A second. Just a second?
…we are caught slipping.
Now, we are spending time to fix things up.
A second.

I took comfort in making my own peace in my surroundings. Creating serenity in the long stare and time.

“I learned long ago that winning doesn’t always mean you get the prize. Sometimes you get progress, and that counts.” – Stacy Abrams.