Life is in various stages. There was a time when we were just wee babies, then we became teenagers, and then we outgrew that stage. We then began to feel attached to someone else other than our parents. Not all of these attachments are good for us. Some of them are toxic but we don’t know the signs of a toxic relationship early on.
At this stage, we are ready to do anything not to lose that person. Because we feel the intense need to be always together. You create memories that are more than friendship with a person; you believe you are in love. When you are in love with a person, you connect on an even deeper level than being just friends.
You feel that a part of your heart is in the hands of another person.
However, you can only trust that the other person appreciates what you have together; you really cannot know for sure. There may be speculations here and there and the person appeals to your senses irrespective of the misgivings.
Love they say is blind; this does not mean that the two individuals are actually blind; it only means that they do not dwell on each other’s faults. They see beyond the faults of their partners and see the good as well as the memories they have created and the memories they see themselves creating in the future.
However, it is important to note that you cannot really create another human or reform somebody else to exactly what you want. There would always be reservations that you turn a blind eye to.
Every successful romance has some sort of work that goes into it in the background. This is to say having a reasonable relationship, is about constantly making the decision to stay together irrespective of the insurmountable challenges that you face.
In other words, it is in your hands to decide if you want the relationship to work or not.
Nevertheless, there comes a time in life when you have to choose yourself above all. You have to decide for yourself if the relationship is still worth fighting for or if it is time to turn in the towel. This is not a decision that comes easily. You have to make a conscious decision to let go of someone you saw yourself going to the moon for, just to get the moon if it makes him or her happy. The tips you are about to read are not a doctor’s diagnosis on whether or not to let go or keep fighting.
It just signs that in my opinion, I think should be enough signal for anybody to stop fighting for a relationship. In my opinion, they are just signs that something is not going right. It is left to you to decide whether you want to stay in that relationship or not. Because at the end of the day, it is left to you to do what is best for you.
Let us get to the signs, which include but are not limited to the following:
Signs of a toxic relationship
Lack of Communication
When you begin to realize that your partner finds it difficult to communicate with you as they used to then there is a problem. I am not talking about situations when you want to get something more from the other person. I am talking about when there is a drastic reduction in how well you talk to each other.
The reason this is a problem is that while he or she is not talking to you, they are definitely telling somebody else those little things you think it does not count. It might not be a problem in the first few days but when it happens continuously, and then you might lose your partner for no reason at all.
When you notice you have no control
When you love someone, it is possible that the thought of what the person thinks of you controls you. However, you need to be sure that your partner is not trying to take total control of your life.
In cases when the man wants you to stop working or they make sure that they are in charge of your personal finances then the relationship is becoming toxic if it’s not already toxic.
Control comes in so many forms. When you begin to notice that your partner is trying to cut you from friends and family or you must get his/her approval before you can make decisions of your own I think it’s time to check again, that relationship is becoming toxic.
Abuse is more than being physically beaten. It is possible to be emotionally abused. The moment the relationship makes you feel lesser than you really are, then it is time to let go. There is no excuse to stay with someone who abuses you. The issue with abuse is it gives you scars and an unreal sense of yourself.
You start to become little in front of the person and begin to lose your self-esteem without knowing it. This can do more damage than you think. It can have a far-reaching effect on your next relationship and your total outlook on life.
When you start making excuses for your partner
In situations when you feel you have to always make excuses for your partner, then I think it is time to go. It can be really frustrating to keep trying to make excuses for an adult.
If you find yourself in these shoes then I think you should again if you and your partners’ values align, to begin with. It’s better to let such a relationship go rather than having to carry the burden of creating a picture of a person that obviously doesn’t exist.
Lack of trust
Love they say is not enough. No matter how much you love that person, you have to be able to trust them to be able to be with them. The truth is you cannot be with your partner every minute of the day; you just begin to feel bored with that person. Remember that distance makes the heart grow fonder.
It is important that you can trust the other person. The reason this is important is that being in a love relationship is like putting your emotional stability in someone else’s hands. It is of great importance that you can trust that the person will not play with your heart and emotions.
It is only trust that makes you see the other person’s actions from the best point of view. In some scenarios, the problem is not about you not trusting the other person; it could be that your partner refuses to trust you. Lack of trust leads to issues that could be better avoided. A buildup of issues only makes cracks in the foundation of your relationship.
In as much as the above are enough signs to show that your relationship is not working, it could also be a way to put in more work to making sure that the relationship blooms into exactly what you want. Remember, nobody will make the decision to make the best of your relationship for you. It is left to you to reevaluate what works for you. Most of these signs are correctable by a simple conversation between both parties.
All you need to do is to decide for yourself if you think your relationship is actually worth fighting for or not. You have your whole life ahead of you; make the best of it instead of patching what is not working. I have come to realize that most people who do not make the early decision to do right by their relationship blame themselves in the end.
Do what is best for you and you would have yourself to thank.